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As the most reliable and balanced news aggregation service on the internet, DML News offers the following information published by FOXNEWS.COM:

Police in Massachusetts were dispatched to deal with a shocking discovery Saturday after a resident found a boa constrictor beneath the hood of a car.

Someone called authorities about the “jawdropping” find after spotting the large snake while checking the car’s fluids, the Stoughton Police Department said on Facebook.

The Stoughton Police Department’s Facebook post reads:

So picture yourself on a quiet Saturday morning. You go out to your car before you head to work and you pop the hood to check your fluids. Then you find the most frightening, jaw dropping, jump out of your boots man eating Anaconda (ok… it was a Boa Constrictor but we are trying to really trying to set the stage for you all) staring right at you. So you collect your thoughts, check your own pulse, and call your local neighborhood police department and relay what you have found. It gets dispatched and the brave officers, without having ever gone to snake charming school, head off to capture this fire breathing dragon.

Officers DeSousa, Gada, and Cowgill along with Animal Control Officer Heal (who responded after we sent out the Bat Signal) safely capture the snake without any harm to the animal, the officers, or the caller. They received no help from the supervisor on duty as he was hiding as far as he possibly could from this incredibly dangerous mission. ACO Heal took the snake and it will be properly cared for.

(No animals were harmed in the making of this ridiculous post)

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