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A Chicago woman’s obituary has gone viral for all the good advice it includes. What makes it particularly special is that she wrote the obituary herself before she died.
Stacy Lois Oliver died on Oct. 4 at the age of 52. According to the Chicago Sun-Times, she died of multiple system atrophy, or MSA, a progressive neurodegenerative disorder, about two years after she was diagnosed with it.
The article goes on to state the following:
Her husband of 21 years, Jeff Oliver, told Good Morning America that she decided to write her own obituary after doctors told her that there was no cure for MSA.
On October 4, Stacy’s husband, Jeff, announced her death in a Facebook post, and shared the obituary she wrote for herself:
“My Beloved and the Light of my Life has passed and is with her other loved ones. I leave you with the Obituary that she wanted everyone to know about her. She was a dynamo, a positive, loving person. She was fiercely devoted to the students she worked with at Northwestern University. She was a wonderfully creative soul,” Jeff wrote. He then shared his wife’s obituary:
I’ve never done anything the “normal” or “regular” way. I thought why not write my own obituary and continue this kind of behavior until the end. My mom always said if I’m not going to blow my own horn no one else will. Sooo, toot toot. I don’t want a list of whom I’m related to that doesn’t say a thing about my life and who’s really in it.
My full name is Stacy Lois Oliver. I was born August, 30, 1968. The last day of the Democratic Convention in Chicago, Illinois. I’m a lifelong Chicagoan, even though we moved to Skokie, Illinois in 2015 to buy our gingerbread house. I’ve wore many hats, professionally: I done improv, worked at Henri Bendel when it was here, sang in clubs and cabarets, and for 21 years worked at Northwestern University. In between for fun I made beaded jewelry, belly danced and hula danced, sewed, baked, did some gardening, loved participating at my Temple Beth Israel, and enjoyed plays and musicals.
While I’m on the topic of love and fun. I was lucky enough to marry Jeff October 9, 1999, truly my best friend and love of my life. He’s kind, likes a pun, has a super distinctive laugh (he gets his giggle on every morning watching funny shows), so handsome (he grew his beard for me before we were married and always kept it.) He’d take me anywhere I wanted to go and went to all the events I planned. I was real with him and forever grateful that he shared his life with me.
My mom was Fern Siegel and she died November 17, 2015. We had a complicated relationship, but we loved each other deeply and fiercely. She kept every, I mean every card from me. There are the fun and caring ladies of Temple Beth Israel Sisterhood.
Everyone should have a science and posse team: Susanne, Linda, and Jill. My Kati, my soul sister. Tracy, Susie, Betsy, Jennifer, Pat (my home nurse and friend), Connie, Emily, and the list goes on. Friends were like flowers, different, colorful in their own way, and brought their own special beauty to my life. Bridget, my Bridget, I carry you around in my pocket. Cindy and Chris, I can’t imagine a life without you and your family being in it. Mary, so beautiful, inside and out, Tootsie’s best friend, your visits from Atlanta meant the world to me. Then there is Spike. Talented, sweet, silly, my stepson Spike. May music always surround you and your dreams come true. I loved you as if you were my own. Finally, Gina and David. David was our Handy Husband. He was our funny bunny and SO smart. My little Einstein, you never knew what King David would say next. Finally, Gina is the sister I dreamed of having. She and I were like Lucy and Ethel. Then the whole Berardesco family adopted me and I had a big, Italian family in New Jersey. Lisa, Di, and Mommy(2), Bob, GM you taught me what family could be.
May I just say this. I’m not telling you what to do, but I am telling you what to do. Stop worrying about your weight, go live, be, do. Smile, people don’t get to feel them enough. Enjoy the moment, it might not come again. If you want to do it give something a try, try it, taste it, go there. Take it from me, I’m dead. Eat the danish, go to the show, laugh outloud. Love one another and you’ll never know what you’ll find.
Stacy’s husband, Jeff, shared a wedding photo last week, and wrote, “I want to take a moment to honor the marriage that my Stacy and I shared. As you know, Stacy passed away Sunday, October 4th. Today, October 9th, would of been our 21st wedding anniversary. Marriage is a wonderful and challenging union. I always knew that the sum of the two of us was greater than each of us alone. It is easy to see how she made me better. Thankfully, she thought I made her better. Quite often we would tap our wedding rings together and declare “Ring Power”.”
Friday evening, her husband posted the following: “Before Stacy was diagnosed with Multiple Systems Atrophy-cerebellum (a rare neurodegenerative disease), she lived with another rare neurological disease for 11 years Multi Focal Neuropathy, Lupus, and Sjogrens Syndrome. These three diseases were auto immune. Even though these diseases caused huge fatigue, she kept pressing forward. She always wanted to do and try.
In 2018, she submitted this video to the neuro film fest. Warning, I am no actor, but I would do anything for her. This was just a few months before she was diagnosed with the disease that would eventually take here.
Here it is. You can hear her voice.”
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